To my singles,
Having a desired spec for marriage is not out of place; in fact, it is godly counsel to build a relationship with the right kind of man or woman. Also, it is understandable if you have a list of features or characteristics you want in your would-be spouse. However, a pressing question remains: Are you ready for the kind of spouse you want to marry?
Many of us desire a patient, kind, loving, and God-fearing spouse, but how well do you also exhibit these desired traits? Life has principles — principles that hold true even in marital journeys. One of such principles is the law of attraction. The Good Book calls it “deep calleth unto deep”. If you fail to work on yourself or sufficiently equip yourself to become attractive to your desired spouse, your desires are merely wishes.
But wait a moment. What does attractiveness really mean? Well, it is beyond physical looks, even though looks are part of it. It has to do with your personality because even if your looks bring you closer to the person, your personality can be a barrier to a flourishing relationship
Therefore, singles, it is not enough to just pray for a good spouse; also pray that God will make you the answered prayer of the other person. That in character, in godliness, in career, in principles and in conduct, in purpose, you fit into the desire of the person that you also desire. Even as you trust God for the grooming of your would-be spouse where he or she is, you must also give yourself to being built.
Interestingly, that person you want actually exists; the person is becoming who they are meant to be where he or she is. But are you becoming who you are meant to be where you are? Alignment is only achieved if both pieces have been thoroughly fashioned to fit. Eventually, when God answers your prayer, you must not be the sole beneficiary of the blessing while you become a headache to the other. Let your spouse look at you and say, “I’m blessed to have you.” Let your spouse look at you and say, “This is my dream come true.”
While I advocate for a transformed life, I am quite aware that perfection is not attainable till we see Christ, yet we must never quit working on ourselves towards perfection. More so, you must be quick to make necessary adjustments whenever God opens your eyes to a character flaw or an area that requires work in your personality.
Singles positioned for blessing must never be heard mouthing, “This is who I am; the person should take me for who I am.” No. If you know there is a gap in your life and you can see it, if the Lord is pointing it out to you, if God’s people are calling your attention to it, it is best that you work on it. What you fail to work on will eventually work towards your downfall. Ultimately, it might destroy years of reputation.
It can erase all the testimonies of your good works. Remember, as the Scriptures said, “a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump,” just as one bad egg can spoil the whole omelette.
So please, are you becoming the desire of the one you desire?
God bless you.
